Well, there's good news, and bad news.
Good news: Gerald's bump somehow miraculously disappeared.
Bad news: My back foot is bruised and hurts. I gotta go to the vet now.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Gerald and I took a car trip today. Mom and Dad loaded us into a small hardshell pet carrier (I personally suspect it was intended for chihuahuas. I am not only cuter than a chihuahua, I don’t tremble like I’m about to have a stroke) and took us in a car on a drive. Mom said that Gerald has a bump on her chest that needs to get looked at to see if it’s a tumor, and that I should come along to keep her company. The parents brought along a baggie of apple and carrot slices, and lots of soft towels, so that was fine by me.
I talked to Gerald during the car trip and told her about all the other times I’d ridden in cars. She seemed comforted by this and chilled out with me the whole ride there.
Once we were inside the vet’s office, the vet tech tried to pick me up. “Hell no!” I said. “I’m just here to give Gerald moral support! See ya!” I wriggled out of his hands and retreated back into the carrier under a towel, stretched out, and took a nap.
A little while later Gerald came back into the carrier. While the parents set about taking us home, Gerald snuggled up next to me under the towel and said “Thelma, I visited outer space.”
“What?”
“Mom and Dad took me to outer space.”
“Well, what does it look like?”
“It was this metallic shiny table. First they put me on a scale—“
“Wait, Mom and Dad put you on a scale, or …”
“No,” Gerald interrupted. “The aliens put me on a scale. They said I weigh one pound and six ounces—“
“Ha! I was betting you were over a pound!!”
“Shut UP! Anyway, after they weighed me, they stuck this flat thing against my side and listened to my insides through a long tube. I was afraid they’d do something weird so I kept peeing and pooping all over the place, but they kept picking me up and feeling me and talking at me in human-speak.”
Gerald paused. “Is that all??” I said, thinking that outer space sounded pretty dull.
“No, “ she admitted in a small voice. “I sat with my front half resting in Dad’s hands for a long time while he rubbed my head and behind my ears, and I think he hypnotized me because I sort of fell asleep like that. And while I was like that, the alien guy stuck a thermometer up my rear.”
“WHAT??”
“I KNOW! By the time I realized what was going on, that I was getting probed by aliens, this big black guy called The Doctor came in and felt me all over. Then he lifted me up to his face and KISSED me. I don’t know if that means I passed all their tests, or what. When he was done they let me come back into the carrier with you and here we are.” Gerald sighed and expressed her frustration by chomping into a carrot. By this time, we were being taken out of the car and back into the apartment.
“Gerald’s gonna be fine,” Mom sang as she opened the carrier to let us back into our habitat. “We’re gonna watch this bump and keep an eye on it, and The Doctor said it’s probably nothing to worry about, but it’d be easy to remove if it is.”
Well, that’s good. I’ve really gotten used to having Gerald around, and she’s really warm and soft to snuggle up to. I’m sorry she got launched into outer space and probed by aliens today. But right now she’s asleep all passed out next to me looking no worse for the wear.
Gus, on the other hand, broke into my blog account the other week. I’ll get to HER later … after I change my password!
I talked to Gerald during the car trip and told her about all the other times I’d ridden in cars. She seemed comforted by this and chilled out with me the whole ride there.
Once we were inside the vet’s office, the vet tech tried to pick me up. “Hell no!” I said. “I’m just here to give Gerald moral support! See ya!” I wriggled out of his hands and retreated back into the carrier under a towel, stretched out, and took a nap.
A little while later Gerald came back into the carrier. While the parents set about taking us home, Gerald snuggled up next to me under the towel and said “Thelma, I visited outer space.”
“What?”
“Mom and Dad took me to outer space.”
“Well, what does it look like?”
“It was this metallic shiny table. First they put me on a scale—“
“Wait, Mom and Dad put you on a scale, or …”
“No,” Gerald interrupted. “The aliens put me on a scale. They said I weigh one pound and six ounces—“
“Ha! I was betting you were over a pound!!”
“Shut UP! Anyway, after they weighed me, they stuck this flat thing against my side and listened to my insides through a long tube. I was afraid they’d do something weird so I kept peeing and pooping all over the place, but they kept picking me up and feeling me and talking at me in human-speak.”
Gerald paused. “Is that all??” I said, thinking that outer space sounded pretty dull.
“No, “ she admitted in a small voice. “I sat with my front half resting in Dad’s hands for a long time while he rubbed my head and behind my ears, and I think he hypnotized me because I sort of fell asleep like that. And while I was like that, the alien guy stuck a thermometer up my rear.”
“WHAT??”
“I KNOW! By the time I realized what was going on, that I was getting probed by aliens, this big black guy called The Doctor came in and felt me all over. Then he lifted me up to his face and KISSED me. I don’t know if that means I passed all their tests, or what. When he was done they let me come back into the carrier with you and here we are.” Gerald sighed and expressed her frustration by chomping into a carrot. By this time, we were being taken out of the car and back into the apartment.
“Gerald’s gonna be fine,” Mom sang as she opened the carrier to let us back into our habitat. “We’re gonna watch this bump and keep an eye on it, and The Doctor said it’s probably nothing to worry about, but it’d be easy to remove if it is.”
Well, that’s good. I’ve really gotten used to having Gerald around, and she’s really warm and soft to snuggle up to. I’m sorry she got launched into outer space and probed by aliens today. But right now she’s asleep all passed out next to me looking no worse for the wear.
Gus, on the other hand, broke into my blog account the other week. I’ll get to HER later … after I change my password!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
hI i'M gUS
HI HI THIS IS GUS I BROKED INTO TELMAS BLOG ACCOUNT LOL SHE WUZ TALKIN IN HER SLEEP AGAIN AND SED HER PASSWORDZ SO I LOGG'D IN AND IM BLOGGIN NOW MY NAME IS GUS AND I LIKE CLIMBING UP 2 HIGH PLACEZ AND THRETTENING 2 JUMP 2 FREEK MOM AND DADZ OUT
SUMTIMEZ I LIKE TO CLIME INSIDEZ CLOTHES AND RUN AROUND AND POKE MY HED OUT BETWEEN BUTTON HOLEZ ITS FUNNY
I ALSO LIKE OAT BRAN FLAEKS
I DONT LIKE IT WHEN DAD PICKZ ME UP AND HOLDS ME UP TO THA WEBCAM ITZ STUPID AND MAKES ME FEEL STUPIDZ I DONT FEEL LIKE GETTING MY PITCHER TAKIN
WHEN I HANG OUT WIF GERALD OUR NAMES ARE FRICK AND FRACK I DONT KNOW WHY
THATZ ALL
MORE LATER!!!1
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