Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm a bully. Or even that I have a bad attitude. In fact, as rats go, I'm pretty mellow. I enjoy the simple things in life: climbing up on my humans, peeing, kicking back with a twisty piece of pasta.
But those damn kids are hard to keep in line. I swear, sometimes they forget who's the biggest rat here. I gotta keep them in line sometimes by sitting on them. It's completely humane, you know, there's nothing mean about it. You flip them over on their back, you hold them down for a minute or two. But those damn kids! They shriek and yell and make it sound like I'm killing them. Then Mom and Dad get up and lecture *me*. (Squeaky is especially crafty about this. But I'll get to *her* at a later date.)
Sigh. And they always ask what I'm talking about, when my mouth moves, as if they can't guess. THOSE DAMN KIDS. *grumble grumble*
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